Have you ever wandered why your significant other loves you? Me and Dewayne was in bed last night (right after a little bit of hanky panky ) and while we were cuddling he said "you're my world". It made me wander why. Don't get me wrong I'm very glad he feels that way. It's just I'm nothing special. I'm an ordinary girl. Pretty, but not beautiful, Nice but I do have a temper. I don't keep the house clean, hate cooking, and get mad over stupid stuff. I guess if I was some other type of girl we might have never met.
It's weird because when we first met I was not at all attracted to him. But then after a few dates I started noticing the little stuff. His eyes, his smile, sense of humor, and I love the freckles on his shoulders.
I had a pretty good birthday. Got the new Harry Potter book, watched the movie, and my father in law gave me a 100 dollars. Didn't get a card from my mother. I guess just because I have met her I shouldn't expect one after 20 years. It does get me depressed when I think about it. It's not like she didn't know where I lived. And she can't use the excuse that Dad kept her away because she did have rights and she could have easily have taken him to court if she really wanted to see me. I think the only reason she wants in my life now is because of Courtney. I'm not gonna keep Courtney away from her though because the more people that loves her, the easier life will be for her. I hope that's not selfish.
I'm gonna go job hunting soon. I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck and still not being able to keep up with bills. For once I would like to have all the bills caught up and still be able to say we're not broke.

Sorry it has been so long (it seems like I always begin with that). Everything has been great around here. We are actually finally going to get our tax return back. They cheated us out of 1000 dollars but I'm tired of fighting the IRS.
Courtney is doing great. She's saying Da-Da and Ma-Ma, she is getting two bottom teeth, she's reaching for people, almost crawling, and isn't afraid of water anymore. She's learning so fast. She cracks me up. She'll say Ma-Ma and then when I say it back she'll start saying Da-Da. She can always make me smile.
I learned something interesting, and hurtful, last week end. My "friend" has been talking about me behind my back. Stuff like everytime I'm over there I hand her Courtney and just walk off and it's hard to takecare of her and her own kids. Basically saying that when I'm over there I expect her to take care of Courtney. But everytime I'm over there she is the one who always wants to hold her. She also says that I'll never change her diaper or feed her, that I always expect her too. It doesn't really surprise me because she talks about everyone behind her back, even her "bestfriend". Oh well. Everyone knows I'm a good mom.
Me and Dewayne has been doing great too. He's been controlling his temper better, but he's still cussing like a sailor. We don't argue as much though. That might be because I hardly get to see him. He works about 12 hours a day.
Hopefully I can keep up with this better when Courtney learns how to start entertaining herself.

Sorry it has been so long. I went to Indiana again and then with Courtney still teething, not teeth yet, I have been pretty busy. I learned something today: Courtney does not like the big bath tub.LOL I tried to give her a bath in the regular tub because she has outgrown her infant one and when I try to bathe her in the sink she plays with the faucet knobs. So she was a slipping and sliding because she wouldn't hold still and she was so mad her face was turning red. So I finally just gave up, put her on my lap and washed her off that way.
I have been feeling weird lately. I want to go back in time when I didn't have to worry about money or what kind of world my little girl is going to have to grow up in. When I think about her growing up it makes me sad. Not just because she will be moving away but because of all the crap she is going to have to go through to try and make it. I can protect her now but for how long? I don't mean to sound so melodramatic. Sometimes I feel selfish for bringing a child into this world at all, even though I would never regret having Courtney. I guess all I can do is to give her a happy child hood and hope I raise her right. Maybe things will come easier to her then it did to me.

It has been a tiring week. Coutney is teething and is so cranky. I'm also dieting and exercising like crazy. I want to lose 13 lbs. I made a deal with my mother-in-law that if I lose it ( which will be going from 163 to 150) she has to quit smoking. I honestly don't believe she will though. She promised me three times she would. The first she said when I got pregnant, the second was when I had the baby, and I don't even remember the third time.
Some good news, Dewaynes work place is not going on strike. I was really worried about that. We can't afford for him to lose his job. Oh and my brother and his wife got back together.
Something really annoyed me yesterday. I don't know how many people know Racheal Ray. She has a talk show. Well anyways, I never watched her talk show but a show came on about her and I watched because I couldn't find the remote. But there is a website, www.rrsux.com, where people post why they hate her so much. Would you like to know there reasons?
"Rachael Ray is annoying for many reasons but here are a few: she is repetitive, she talks with her hands way too much, she giggles incessantly, she puts olive oil and chicken stock in everything, she wears really ugly clothing, she talks out of one side of her mouth like she's had a stroke, she looks like "The Joker" when she smiles, and she can't stop talking about her family."
I guess now a days it is okay to "hate" someone based on the way they look,dress,and giggles. I was totally indifferent towards her but now I feel sorry for her. One post even said this vicious thing:
"I hate her. I can't stand her moronic giggle and can't wait till one day we can all look back and say "hey remember the bitch that looked like the joker? oh yeah I heard she caught her husband with another man and she is lost everything"
I feel sorry for these people that their lives are so boring that the most interesting thing in their day is too post 4 or five things on this site saying how much they hate this woman.

Hello bloggers. Just stopping by to update and get caught up. I will try to leave y'all some comments.
I have been busy because Courtney is teething and is really cranky. I hardly even dress her anymore unless we are going any where because she drools so much that I have to change her clothes. I have tried a bib but she just chews on them and soaks them. She's finally asleep after crying for a good ten minutes (that doesn't sound like long but she usually goes right to sleep). But on the plus side she is trying real hard to crawl, she can hold her bottle real good, and she can sit up by herself-with some supervision.
I got some bad news today. My brother came over and was acting real weird. He sent his sons outside and told me his wife kicked him and THEIR boys out. Why she kicked her 9 year old and 10 year old boys out I have no clue. Sammie don't really even know why she kicked him out. Something about him getting drunk Friday and being pervert toward her friend. He's staying with Dad tonight. He works 12 hour shift of a night time and I told him I would watch his kids. They're excellent kids.
Well gonna get off here. I may try to stop by the chatroom later if there is anyone in there.